Replacing Pets and Managing Body Odor | Opinion
Dear Amy O,
My dog is quite old and someone said I should get another dog right away when my dog dies. What do you say, how soon should you have another dog, after your precious pooch dies? Thank you, Sea Witch.
Signed, Canine Conundrum
Dear Canine Puzzler,
This is strawberry, uh, rough. Seeing my dog Tinker hit by a car and killed when I was 11 is something I still cry about. Although certainly not as often these days, and I have been able to open my heart again and again bringing new dogs into the family.
You asked me how soon you should have another dog after the death of your precious pet, not my opinion on someone’s irresponsible and, presumably, unsolicited advice. Only you, my friend, can answer that question, and feeling all the sensations when the time comes is the way to figure it out.
The consensus among mental health experts is that it’s time for a new pet after the bereavement. This allows you to look forward to welcoming a new family member, rather than reminiscing about a lost member.
Give yourself time to grieve, a necessary process whose duration is unpredictable. It can last a week or months. Granted, no one “gets over” the loss of loved ones, but going on without them becomes easier. There is no right way to grieve. Healing comes from taking care of your emotions and your body, as well as asking for (and receiving) support when needed. The agonizing depth of grief is equal to the joyful heights of love experienced.
Suppose you have passed the grieving stage with the question remaining the same, should you get a new dog? First of all, do you want to a? Then, what is your lifestyle now? Are there any plans, activities, or goals that have been put on hold — a long vacation, home repairs, or back to school — because you had a dog? Can your finances comfortably accommodate a new family member? What size dog do you want? Personality, energy level, size? These are the things you consider, weighing the pros and cons of each and coming to a conclusion, which is neither right nor wrong, but what is best for you.
When the terrible time comes, I hope you feel free to mourn your dog’s passing as deeply – more OK – than you loved your dog, taking all the time you need. In the dog years.
Dear Amy O,
We are in a period of drought. I understand. But my colleague needs to bathe more often. How to tell him that?
Signed, The Office Bloodhound
Dear The Office Bloodhound,
Are you trying to say me Something? “Because I will take your dryness and augment it with a lowering of personal hygiene standards inspired by Covid isolation.
Your point is well taken. Let’s face it, there’s no longer a cloud of cannabis hanging over the valley masking any other smells, whether it’s from baking bread from all those sourdough starter kits or from the stack of rotting laundry in a teenager’s bedroom.
If it’s not a real problem for you, like unsanitary conditions in the workplace break room, and it’s not a problem for them, like not getting promoted to the coveted front desk position, you might want to keep the aroma dilemma to yourself. Does the smell affect your work?
If the smell is causing trouble, then you’ll want to have the awkward moment in private and say your word clearly and with compassion. No major assembly required. And don’t say “how others told you…” – not only does that throw your other colleagues under the bus, but it also shows a terrible lack of courage. From you.
Try this: “I guess you don’t know, but you would like to know, lately I noticed a funny smell. Maybe it’s (the garlic fries, all the workouts you’ve done.) “Hope your co-worker thanks you for the warning and the problem ends when the kick 5 o’clock whistle will sound, however, be prepared for your colleague to react defensively and offended.
It’s OK and very understandable. If you come from a place of kindness, it will shine through and you can be proud that you did the right thing. Conversely, if you are the recipient of such news, which is never fun, remember the other person’s kindness.
Former CVN Editor Amy Marie Orozco loves living in Carpinteria, including all of the sometimes socially awkward situations that occur in our seaside setting. As well as giving advice (on request only), Amy O also edits Cannabis by the Sea Magazine. Do you have a question for her? Email it to [email protected]